"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall
isn’t it upsetting that your future husband is literally alive right now but you just don’t know who he is he could be with a STUPID GIRLFRIEND GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND
also isn’t it upsetting that your future wife is literally alive right now but you just don’t know who she is she could be lonely or sad or something horrible could be happening to her and oh no now im worried…
isn’t it upsetting that your future 50 cats are literally not born yet
- President Snow Probably (via mellarkish)
josh hutcherson’s parents are probably called josh hutcherdad and josh hutchermom
actually their names are chris hutcherson and michelle hutcherson
So tell me,
When did you graduate from Killjoke University?
2004 i was valedictorian
teach your daughters to be intimidating in a pretty dress
Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself.
This is surprisingly motivating.
new year’s resolution
today during 4th period the teacher told us to be extra quiet because he was doing some important work online and he didnt know he had his computer screen hooked up to the tv in the front of the class and all he was doing was watching the titanic on netflix
I respect those people who get a lot done on their days off cause I am the absolute opposite and do nothing all day whenever I can
this is your pilot speaking, yes we’re having difficulties, we’ve realised that this isnt actually a functionable plane but instead a very convincing lego replica