Koni

iygrittenothing:

ryuyosei:

killipan-jones:

purrim:

purrim:

why are blonde jokes so short?

so men can remember them

this took an unexpected turn

Not if you just asked for directions.

(Source: sendificator, via alcaponed)

"You know what I’m not finished. You think that I haven’t thought this through? You think that we don’t love each other? I’ve loved this girl for 19 years Ben. That is fully half my life. I know everything there is to know about her. I know the mood she’s in when she wakes up in the morning, always happy ready for the day, can you imagine? I know that she is honest, she won’t even take shampoo bottles from the hotels rooms or sneak in the movie theater for a double feature, she always buy a second ticket, always. I know that we have the same values, we have the same taste, we have the same sense of humor. I know that we both think that organized religion is completely full of shit, I know that if she’s ever paralyzed from the neck down, she would like me to unplug her, and I will. I know her position on just about everything and I am on board, I am on board with everything about her. so you tell me Ben, what better woman could I have picked to be the mother of my child? seriously, what more responsible choice could I have made? You tell me. You fucking prick."

- Jason Fryman [Adam Scott in Friends with Kids] (via reginafang)

kristen-wiig:

people say i’m not ambitious but can they marathon an entire tv show in one day????? i didn’t think so

(via edmundherondale)